Yesterday, Kaleb was talking about wanting to go to the movies and he mentioned Thor. I, obviously, support the viewing of Thor so I said that maybe we could see it next weekend when Daddy would be off. Anyway, he didn’t seem convinced and just said that it would be expensive. That’s when I pointed out that the end of the month is the best time to do things like that because that’s when we get the subsidy (for the younger three). I thought that he already knew about the subsidy, but, apparently not because he asked me what it was. That’s when I got uncomfortable. I don’t like talking about money. But, I explained that the state gives us a certain amount, each month, to assist with expenses.
“Oh, so, basically, you’re paid to have us?”
Then, I got really uncomfortable.
Then, I got really uncomfortable.
I tried to be casual and just said, “I wouldn’t put it that way, at all. It’s something that the state does to help. And, it definitely helps. That’s why I can afford to work only part-time. And, eventually, not at all.”
He didn’t say anything.
I added “But, we’re definitely not paid to have you. It’s a help, but it doesn’t cover everything. And, Daddy and I didn’t know about the subsidy when we got ready to adopt, but, of course, it was a pleasant surprise.”
I braced myself for a reaction, but none ever came. He went back to playing the Xbox and didn’t mention it again.
Apparently, he was satisfied with my answer. But, as he played his game, I had plenty of time to obsess. I do that.
There have been times in our society when foster parents have been accused of fostering for the money. As someone who gets 80% of the official foster care rate, I can tell you that it if you are trying to make money from fostering, you are not succeeding. Kids are expensive, after all.
No, we didn’t know about any of the adoption incentives when we started out. In fact, we didn’t know until we were done with the classes, home study, and background checks. We only knew that the adoption, itself, would be free for us and we could afford free. We didn’t know that, in Florida, kids who are classified as special needs receive monthly subsidies, that all of them are eligible for Medicaid until they are 18, and they all can go to college in Florida for free. Free college, people. We have 4 kids…how relieved were we??
When I get on my soapbox and tell coworkers, friends, neighbors, or fellow customers in the grocery store about foster care adoption, I try to tell them these things. These conversations happens a lot because people tend to have questions. Since, most people don’t know about these incentives and they might make a difference, I tell them. There are a lot of people out there with a lot of love to give, but not a lot of money to spend (a.k.a. The Parkers) who might take the adoption plunge if they thought they could make it work, financially.
I am always uncomfortable talking about the subsidy, though, and I always, always, mention that we didn’t know about it until we started the process. Most of the time, people are surprised and impressed. Everyone thinks that the free college is cool. And, sometimes, I feel weird for telling them about it at all. Brian doesn’t share my paranoia, but he does share my passion for letting the world know. And, since he finds himself in these situations, too, he’s had a quite a few soapbox moments of his own.
So, a couple of months ago, I got into a conversation with a coworker. She said that she’d like to adopt, but was probably too old and too single. There, in the bathroom, I quickly pulled my soapbox out of my pocket, climbed on and told her that there was no age or marital requirement. I had a live one, so I kept talking! ; ) And, because, she works non-profit, like me, I knew that some of the incentives could benefit her. But, when I told her about the subsidy, she said “Well, I don’t care about the money, I just want to adopt.”
Then, I felt greedy.
Now, I know that she was probably just making sure that I didn’t think that she cared about the money and I was definitely paranoid that she would think that I did. But, I still felt like I needed to defend myself. But, beyond, pointing out that we didn’t know about it, etc, etc, I just let it go.
Besides, when it comes down to it, I’m pretty sure that everyone knows that it’s not about the money with us. Most importantly, though, the kids know. The kids know how much we love them. As I might have hinted a couple of times, ha; the kids are our world. 🙂
But, because of the adoption subsidy, I can get away with buying more matching shirts than I might have been able to, otherwise. I can sneak in a couple more trips to McDonald’s. I can buy some more donuts. And, when I’m feeling extra festive, I can pay the electric bill. Oh, shoot, that reminds me, I actually do need to pay the electric bill?!
So, no, Kaleb, we are not paid to have you. Assistance or not, you are my son and I love you. Now, sit down and have a donut in our house that now will continue to have power. But, first, make sure that this shirt fits you; we are all wearing blue shirts tomorrow when we go to McDonald’s!
//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
the6parkers 
I look at the subsidy as a way to do extras. 🙂 How easy was it for me to join MyGym and take an extra class a week plus my soon to be chickens need a coop.
LikeLike
Agreed. 🙂 Is she enjoying MyGym?
LikeLike
I'm glad you talk about this. After we researched adoption we chose to pursue foster adopt because 1 – it felt right and 2 – It's the only possible way we could afford it. Sometimes I feel guilty that money made such a big part of the decision – but I want to be able to provide for my children – and if I spend thousands adopting them, I won't have anything left to provide. 🙂
LikeLike
ugg slippersugg on salechristian louboutin shoestod's outletjordan 6 cigarcoach factory outletabercrombie fitchlouis vuitton handbagshollister clothingburberry outletjordan 11 snakeskinmichael kors outletpradaoakley sunglasses outletmichael korsuggs for womenoakley sunglasseshollister clothing storeugg outletchristian louboutin saleralph lauren ukoakley sunglassesxudada
LikeLike
air max 2014valentino shoespandora charmsdenver broncos jerseysmac makeupdallas cowboys jerseyed hardy t-shirtshollister clothing storecoach factory outletlouis vuitton outletkobe 9 elitebaltimore ravens jerseysbabylissoakland raiders jerseysprada shoesmbt shoestrue religion outletherve leger dresseslos angeles lakers jerseysdansko outletsoccer jerseysmiami heat jerseygucci outletcoach outlet onlinecoach outletcoach outlettods shoesabercrombielinks of london ukvans shoesnorth face outletkate spade outletcoach outletcheap oakley sunglassescheap soccer jerseysceline outlet onlinelebron james shoesair jordan shoesdiscount oakley sunglasseshermes birkinmichael kors ukcartier bracelet2015804caihuali
LikeLike
20150912 jundaAbercrombie & Fitch Factory Outletlouis vuitton outletMichael Kors Outlet Online Mallmichael kors ukfit flopsmichael kors outletWholesale Authentic Designer Handbagstrue religionmichael kors handbagMichael Kors Outlet Real Handbags Onlinecoach outletcoach factory outletair max 90michael korscoach factory outletabercrombiemichael kors outletmichael kors handbagsDiscount Ray Ban Polarized Sunglassesmichael kors handbagCoach Factory Outlet Online SaleMichael Kors Handbags Huge Off ralph lauren ukcanada goose jacketsnike trainersOfficial Coach Factory Outlet Online Saletoms outletcanada goose outletMichael Kors Handbags Outlet DealsLouis Vuitton Clearance SaleJordan 6 Rings Powder BlueAbercrombie T-Shirtsmichael kors bagsLouis Vuitton Bags On SaleCoach Outlet Store Online Shop
LikeLike
rolex watchessac louis vuitton pas cheroakley sunglassesnike blazer pas cherswarovski crystalkate spade ukcamisetas futbol baratasmichael kors outlettory burch sandalslouboutin pas cherkobe shoescheap mlb jerseysherve leger dressesnike air huarachelouis vuitton handbagsfitflop clearancetrue religion jeanscheap football shirtsbeats by drekobe bryants shoeshermes outletlouis vuitton pas cherrolex ukbasketball shoes,basketball sneakers,lebron james shoes,sports shoes,kobe bryant shoes,kobe sneakers,nike basketball shoes,running shoes,mens sport shoes,nike shoesceline outlet onlinetiffany and coralph laurenlululemon outlet onlinebabyliss flat ironcalvin klein outlettiffany jewelrybeats headphoneshollister salerolex watcheschristian louboutin outlet16.7.7qqqqqing
LikeLike
طرق كشف تسربات المياه بالرياضطرق الكشف عن تسربات المياه التقليدية من الطرق السيئة التى تحتاج الى الكسر والتبليط وتحتاج الى الكثير من الوقت والجهد والاموال لذلك قررت شركتنا ان تعتمد على افضل الالات والاجهزة المميزة التى تساعد فى التعرف على مكان التسرب من خلال افضل الاجهزة فيقوم العاملين بالتحرك بالجهاز المميز والتى يساعد فى التعرف على مكان التسرب فى اقل وقت ممكن فالجهاز يصدر ذبذبات يساعد فى القيام بالتعرف على مكان التسربتعد شركة الاول افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالاحساء – شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالقطيف – و افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام – وافضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالجبيل – و افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالرياض افضل شركة نظافة بالرياض – و شركة كشف تسربات المياة بالمدينة المنورة واسعارها في متناول الجميع ومن الهام التاكد دائما من خلو منزلك من تسربات المياه حتى لا تتعرض لمشاكل مثل انهيار وتصدع المبانى الاول افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالرياض تستخدم اجهزه الكترونية اكشف التسرب بالذبذبات وتغطى كافة مناطق الرياض فهى افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه شرق الرياض___________كشف تسربات المياه بالاحساء – – و افضل كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام – وافضل كشف تسربات المياه بالجبيل – و افضل كشف تسربات المياه بالرياض – و كشف تسربات بالمدينة المنورة كشف تسربات المياه بالرياضنوفر افضل اجهزة كشف تسربات المياه وبدقة عاليه يتم تحديد مكان التسرب واصلاح السبب بدون تخريب
LikeLike
ralph lauren onlinejordan shoesnike air zoomtiffany,tiffany and co,tiffany and co jewelry,tiffany necklace,tiffany bracelet,tiffany ring,tiffany earringscheap uggsyeezy boost 350yeezy shoesoakley sunglassestiffany onlineyeezy boostmichael kors handbags clearancemichael jordan shoeskobe shoes for sale onlinechristian louboutin outletadidas stan smith shoestiffany jewelrylouboutin shoes uktoms outlet storehttp://www.cheapauthenticjordans.us.comfitflopschrome hearts wholesalehttp://www.rayban-sunglasses.ukadidas tubularcheap mlb jerseyschrome heartsfitflops clearanceyeezy shoesmichael kors outletyeezy boost 350nike air huaracheadidas tubular runneradidas tubular saletiffany and co jewelrycheap mlb jerseysoakley sunglasses,oakley vault,oakley sunglasses cheap,oakleys,oakley.com,sunglasses outlet,cheap oakleygg
LikeLike
kate spade outlethogan scarpechristian louboutin saleugg on salecoach outlet store onlinecincinnati bengals jerseysuggs for cheapralph lauren clearancetoms shoeschicago bulls jerseysdesigner handbagsmoncler coatscheap toms shoestoms wedgesceline bagsjordan femme pas cherpolo shirtslouis vuitton handbagslos angeles clippers jerseysralph laurenchristian louboutin shoesadidas yeezycheap basketball shoesinstyler maxtrue religion outletugg slippersuggsinsanity workoutcoach outlet store online clearancestoms wedgescanada goosejordan retro 8polo outletmichael kors outlet clearancelouboutin femmeugg bootslebron 13chenlili20160824
LikeLike
jordan shoestimberland shoeskate spade outlet onlinecoach outlet onlinelouboutin shoesray ban sunglasses discountgucci handbags outletconverse all starfitflops salecheap jordan shoeszhi20161212
LikeLike
oakley sunglasses outletfake rolex watchesmontblanc penschi flat ironcoach outlet onlinepurs jerseysray ban glasseslouboutin outletoakley sunglasses wholesalenike uk20170509yuanyuan
LikeLike
michael kors outlet onlinecoach outletmichael kors handbags clearancenfl jersey wholesalecoach outlet store onlinemichael kors outlet onlineralph lauren uktory burch outlet onlinelongchamp outlet onlinecoach outlet onlinechanyuan2017.05.26
LikeLike
pandora jewelryfitflops sandalsthunder jerseyschristian louboutincoach outletjordan 6polo ralph laurenyeezy boost 350 v2abercrombie and fitchocchiali ray banchenlina20170614
LikeLike
فريق شركة تسليك مجارى بالدمام المتخصص يتميز بالكفاءة و القدرة علي التخلص من جميع مشاكل تسربات الصرف حيث تعتبر شركة أبراج دبي من أهم و أكبر الشركات بجميع أنحاء المملكة العربية السعودية .للتواصل الآن عن طريق :-http://abraj-dubai.net/%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%83%D8%A9-%D8%AA%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%8A%D9%83-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%89-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%82%D8%B7%D9%8A%D9%81/
LikeLike