The Person That I Want To Be

I feel like I’m still figuring out who I am. I believe that I am inherently a good person but sometimes (ok, lots of times), I get reminders that I’m still a work in progress. I’m also a person who is obsessed lately with buying positive message shirts like these.

So back to the reminders that I’m still a work in progress!

I was at Walmart a few weeks ago and we all know that the Walmart shopping experience can be stressful. And it doesn’t really bring out the best in people. This day, I was no exception. Because when I headed to the register and discovered that everyone who lives in Jacksonville was also checking out, I was immediately frustrated.

As I watched the lady ahead of me slowly unload her shocking amount of groceries, I reminded myself to be patient. She was grouping her items by type and lengthening the whole process by default. This isn’t really a big deal and I wouldn’t normally even be bothered by it but today, I really wanted to get out of that store.

Then I saw who I hoped was my savior. Another cashier appeared to be getting ready to open up. And then, I watched this cashier slowly (I mean, really slowly. Like sloth-like!) put the drawer in the register, remove the change from the rolls, and wipe down the belt. It seemed to be safe to say that she was opening but I didn’t wanna be rude and rush over and vulture her register. And she seemed to be deliberately not looking up so I couldn’t be sure. So I watched and waited.

Common courtesy states that the next person in line gets the next spot at an opening register. People don’t always follow that rule but most of the time. they do. So I kept watching and waiting for her to say, “I’ll take the next person in line.” And I also kept watching the person behind me who was also watching her closely. I was thinking, surely. he will follow the rule and stay put and let me be the next to check out. But I was mistaken. Because moments later, he asked her…

“Are you opening?”

Barely looking up, she nodded. So he and his family immediately moved to her aisle and started unloading their cart.

I was mad! I just couldn’t believe they did that!

I glared at them. They didn’t notice but it still counts! And then in an effort to dish out my own fair share of rudeness, I moved my cart to an angle so it would be in their way when they tried to leave. I was thinking that I could at least inconvenience them a little. That would show them!

I felt pretty pleased with myself. I wasn’t going to let this slide! What goes around, comes around and what not. But, then I glanced back at my cart and saw the latest positive message t-shirt that I was about to buy.

Oh yeah… The shirt was a reminder of the person I want to be. A person who I am most of the time.

I inwardly shook my head at myself, moved my cart back into its original position and accepted my reality. I was not proud of myself for my impulse and definitely don’t like admitting it. But it is a reminder that life is a series of choices and we have the power to make them. We can’t control other people but we can control our reactions. Oh and it clearly pays to buy clothes! Take that, bank statement! 🤣

So, yeah, the man and his family did get out of the store before me but at least I left with my integrity. 😊

(And a new shirt!)

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