Making My Way as a Teacher

Well, it’s my first holiday break as a teacher. I have really been looking forward to this. In a lot of ways, having this time off makes me feel like a teacher just as much as actually doing the teaching thing does. I still do mental double takes during the day when I realize I am actually a literal teacher. It truly boggles my mind that I am a Middle School ESE teacher. 

The kids that I teach are fascinating. They are all primarily on the Autism Spectrum and as the word suggests, they are all so different. They have different challenges and different strengths. And each one of them is amazing.  

I’m constantly aware of the power I have. I mean in the sense that I have this opportunity to have a huge impact on these kids. We all have those teachers that we remember. Sometimes we have good memories, sometimes those memories are not so good. I want my kids’ memories to be good. 

Finding My Way with Teaching

I have learned so much in the last 4 months. I have learned about the ins and outs of the public school system (and the frustrations that go along with it). I have learned that every co-worker cannot be trusted and that some will have your back no matter what. I already assumed that this was going to be the case, but I also have learned that I truly enjoy spending time with my students.  

Like I said, these kids have challenges and behaviors come along with those challenges. Since I teach in one of the two self-contained rooms in the school, I see the most intense behaviors. It can be tough to deal with, for sure. But the thing that helps me deal is knowing that these kids are not “acting out” or choosing to be “bad.” They are genuinely struggling. They need my compassion in those moments and that is something that I can do. 

But it’s not constant chaos. There are so many amazing moments. The pride these kids feel when they master a skill or a goal is everything. Like the first time that one of my girls was able to answer math questions by memory after weeks and weeks of having to use her fingers. Or when one of my boys breezed through a double-digit addition worksheet that he was struggling with the week before.  

Am I Doing Ok?

Of course, I am always worrying about whether I’m doing ok. I’ve been a teacher for four months in a class who hasn’t had a permanent teacher for 2-3 years, instead they had rotating substitutes. There’s not much to reference and I haven’t had a formal observation yet. And it would be crazy to think that I’m not making mistakes 

But almost as if the universe knows when I need to hear it, I receive compliments here and there that tell me that I’m on the right track and it means everything to me. 

My favorite came a couple of weeks ago when a couple of district employees were in my classroom. They were there to talk to me about some plans for the future but while there, the BCBA looked at me and said “I love how you love them.” 

Is there any better compliment than that?  

I’m not sure if I’m teaching them math in the best way possible and I doubt that they will master fractions before the year is over. But I’m sure that they will know that they were loved and I think that may be more important. 

I’m a teacher and I love my students.