Connecting With My Non-Verbal Autistic Student

A couple of weeks, or so, into the school year in my self-contained ESE class, just as we were getting into a routine; I suddenly had a new student. It took awhile to really get to know him. He is non-verbal, and until recently, he really didn’t interact much.

He is also very sweet and cooperative. And absolutely adorable. But he was just hard to get to know.

The IEP Meeting

He needed a new IEP (Individualized Education Program) and It was difficult to write it. At that point, I hadn’t seen a lot of comprehension. A lot of our activities involved me pointing to a letter or number and saying what it is while he pointed to it too. He wasn’t focusing or trying to understand what I was pointing to, he was just semi-randomly pointing because I pointed. While I praised him for his cooperation, I was really struggling to figure out what I could teach him.

So his IEP goals were pretty basic and for the most part, they carried over from his old IEP.

We sat in that meeting and all agreed (including his mom) that he didn’t understand the concept of numbers. I went back to the classroom with plans to work on teaching him to match 3d objects to pictures of 3d objects (one of the goals that continued from his old IEP) but I didn’t have a lot of expectations for much progress beyond that.

One of the unofficial mantras in ESE is to “presume competence.” Meaning, don’t assume they can’t do something or give up on them. I was definitely not giving up on him but I can’t honestly say that I was presuming competence either.

Either way, I was committed to helping him to at least meet the goals of his IEP and I also really wanted to get to know him.

There He Is!

Then I bought some really cool educational toys from someone on Facebook marketplace. Among the cool educational toys was a number puzzle. As we completed the puzzle together, suddenly I started to really see this kid.

I put the cards out in order and put the numbers aside. Since he is good at matching, I felt pretty confident that he could follow the steps to complete the puzzles.

And he did.

I praised him and started pointing to each number while saying the number. He pointed with me. At the end, I cheered and high fived him.

That was when I discovered how much he really likes high fives. Now I am sure that I have high fived this kid. I am an enthusiastic high fiver in all parts of my life. My kids just love it…lol

But this time, for whatever reason, there was a connection, behind the high five, because he did something pretty awesome.

He independently pointed to the number one!

So I said one. He pointed to number two. So I said two.

We went through all the numbers this way. I then excitedly high fived him.

Then he pointed to the one again! We went through the numbers and I high-fived and high-tenned him. if that’s even a word.

In my head, I am completely freaking out. We are connecting! He is engaged!

We went through this process at least 4 more times before I had to cut him off and work with another student.

It was the quiet win that I was longing for in my last post (Teaching Autistic Kids Amidst The Chaos). I had managed to take a break from behavior management and do some teaching! But more importantly. this adorable little boy who just wants to make patterns with magnatiles and other manipulative and to this point, was basically humoring me when he came to sit with me, this kid had pointed to the numbers, unprompted. I mean, wow!

This kid might not progress much farther than this or maybe he will. But what I can guarantee is that I will do everything I can to help him get as far as he can while loving him and giving a ton of high-fives along the way.