Facing Life With Grief.

Last week, I stood outside the church. I stood there for several minutes, just willing myself to go in. I like my church. I like the people inside. But, I don't like going in anymore because it reminds me of my dad. It doesn't remind me of his smile, his super loud laugh or his … Continue reading Facing Life With Grief.

Stuck In The Anger Stage Of Grief

So my dad is dead and I'm in the anger stage of grief and those angry emotions are constantly boiling right under the surface of my emotional skin. A handful of weeks ago, I was preaching to the kids that it's important to remember not to let the little things get to us and remember what's … Continue reading Stuck In The Anger Stage Of Grief

Daring Myself To Be Patient.

Love is patient. I can't think of many truer statements except maybe something like "chocolate is life." Or "Sleep is awesome," but "love is patient" is up there. I have a soft spot for the cliche and the verse that it comes from.  Brian and I used it in our wedding and we later scooped up this plaque when we saw it at … Continue reading Daring Myself To Be Patient.

Daring Myself To Love My Son.

A year or so ago, I received a book, "The Love Dare."  It was from my priest who is also my facebook friend.  She had read my angsty posts about Kaleb, met with me and then bought me the book.  The idea is that you are given a daily dare which is aimed at improving … Continue reading Daring Myself To Love My Son.

Wilderness Training For Kids

I know I've said this before but one of the things that we've always tried to teach the kids is to look at the bright side of things. Sometimes it's harder than other times but there is always a silver lining.  And I try really hard to find it.  One of my favorites is to … Continue reading Wilderness Training For Kids

I Wasn’t Ready For My Close Up.

So, I was at little Walmart as we call it.  (The one with just the food.)  It was an uncommon solo trip and as I was minding my own business, scanning my items, I looked up and I saw it!  A mirror!  An unforgiving mirror staring right back at me.  I was already aware that I wasn't my … Continue reading I Wasn’t Ready For My Close Up.

When Doctors Don’t Tell You What You Want To Hear.

Let's talk infertility! To me, it's like a dirty word.  It represents everything that I hate about myself.  And, yet, it is the thing that brought my children to me.  Because let's face it, what are the odds that we would have gone out looking to adopt if I had been popping out babies like seemingly … Continue reading When Doctors Don’t Tell You What You Want To Hear.

I’d Like To Buy The World A Goat.

Race is a funny thing.  You hear a lot of contradicting messages from the world.  Be colorblind.  Have pride in your race.  I don't see color.  You know how (insert race) people are.  Why do they segregate themselves?  There is no white privilege. That's reverse discrimination. (No such thing, by the way. It's all just discrimination.)I … Continue reading I’d Like To Buy The World A Goat.

Hospitals Have Great Mashed Potatoes But I Don’t Want To Go Back.

A handful of weeks ago, (has it really been that long??), we found ourselves at the hospital with William.  My experience with hospitals is limited.  I had a hernia operation when I was a kid but most of my memories involve me grossing out my friends by showing them my incisions. I also remember my mom surprising me … Continue reading Hospitals Have Great Mashed Potatoes But I Don’t Want To Go Back.

My Son And Honesty…Or Lack There Of.

I've been trying to write this post about William for awhile.  (If you are reading this, by the way, that means he is cool with it.)  I get a little written and then plan to go back to it and then get sucked into the mom trenches.  Before I get back to finish, something else has happened and I … Continue reading My Son And Honesty…Or Lack There Of.