Moving Past The Past

Lizzie.  I don’t write about her a lot.  In a way, there’s not a lot to say, but, in a way, there is.  It’s just that, I don’t think that people come to my blog to read about how totally awesome I think my five year old is.  I really do, by the way.  But, that’s what Facebook is for.  🙂

But, the thing about Lizzie is that I can’t help but still be a little amazed that she’s mine.  I’m amazed that they are all mine.  The difference with Lizzie is that we waited way too long to find out that she was going to be ours.  Antwan and William came on February 15, 2008, and we finalized on May, 9, 2008.  Kaleb came on June 28, 2013, and we finalized on November 18, 2013.  There was some red tape and bureaucracy involved in both, but, in hindsight, it was pretty simple.  And, totally worth it, I proclaim from my soap box.  Everyone go adopt now.  I’ll wait… 😉

Then, there was Lizzie.  She came on September 11, 2008 and we finalized on September 29, 2009.  I think that a year is probably pretty quick when waiting to adopt while the birth parents are still involved.  But, it was rough for us.  And, totally worth it, I proclaim from my soap box.  Everyone go adopt now.  I’ll wait… 😉  I won’t go through all the drama about how we had deliberately looked for  children who were already available for adoption so we wouldn’t go through a year of hell like we did, but we ended up there, anyway.  That’s not the point.  Besides, she needed to be with us and her brothers and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. 

But, going through something like that changes you.  Watching a baby being driven off for visits with birth parents who don’t seem to understand what a gift they’ve been given hurts.  Hearing them lie in court while you helplessly watch things happen is hard.  And, then there was my worst moment when I brought Lizzie to a visitation, myself, because I wanted to be cooperative and I had to leave her there.  I went to my parents’ right after where I had left Antwan and promptly vomited.  Then, I continued vomiting for two days with some crazy flu-like illness that everyone was convinced was stress-induced.  Since no one else in the house got sick, I’m thinking that they were right.  Yeah, it was rough.   And, totally worth it, I proclaim from my soap box.  Everyone go adopt now.  I’ll wait… 😉

Sometimes, Kaleb feels threatened by Lizzie.  He thinks that we are more amazed by her than him.  And, it’s true that it’s exciting when a 5 year old writes a word or reads a book. 

But, if he had looked over, he would’ve seen me crying as he played his clarinet during his concert, a few months ago.

So, hopefully, the emotional Mommy reactions even out.  🙂

He thinks that we like her better.  That’s not true.  But, I’m just a little surprised and relieved, each day, that she’s still here.  Not on a conscious level.  I don’t wake up and rush to check.  But, it’s hard to shake the back-of-the-mind feeling that it’s not permanent.

But, it is.  She’s ours.  They’re all ours.  And, regardless of the angst and my lingering paranoia, my baby is my baby.  All of my babies are my babies.  And, that’s good enough for me. 🙂

Did I mention that it’s totally worth it and everyone should go adopt now.  I’ll wait… 😉

Today, she is happy.

She’s stubborn.

She said that her backpack was too heavy.

And she’s beautiful.

She absolutely gets away with things like Kaleb says.  But, we try to call her on the stuff that matters. And, when we do, she doesn’t like it… 

Getting a mini-lecture from Daddy.  She wasn’t pleased.

And, sure, sometimes I have to cover my face and pretend to be really sad so she won’t see me smiling, but I make it through.  Life would be easier if she wasn’t tremendously cute when she’s mad.  Much like she’s tremendously cute when she’s happy.  But, it’s my cross to bear. haha.

Offended by the time-out

All I know is that I am so glad that she is getting the chance to be a little girl and I get to be there for it.  She gets to sell Girl Scout cookies, ride her bike, eat a ridiculous amount of ramen noodles, occasionally watch tv with a hanger on her head,

and, yes, sometimes, yell at her mommy who will love her forever and always put her and her brothers’ first.

 

 

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28 thoughts on “Moving Past The Past

  1. I find it hard with our older three that came when they were older that they feel our 9 year old, that we got as a six month old, doesn't have the responsibilities they have and we get more excited about her accomplishments too. I sat each of the older kids down and talked to them and reminded them that when they were that age they didn't have as many chores, and when they accomplished something we cheered just as loud. They just need to be reminded its an age thing, not a love thing. I have to have this conversation with them more then once, but it always works for awhile. If you send me your goggle e-mail you can read my blog. I have to keep it private because of bio families.

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  2. We're going…we're GOING….just keep writing. 🙂 Thanks from a stranger, for giving a good/bad/ugly/hilarious account of real family life with adopted siblings. We are looking to adopt a sibling group THIS YEAR!!

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  3. – رش مبيدات تتميز شركة الاول بانها تستخدم افضل معدات رش المبيدات في المملكةوتم تعريف المبيد الحشري على انه هو مبيد آفات يستخدم ضد الحشرات في جميع أطوار نموها.وتستخدم الاول جميع انواع المبيدات مثل :1- المبيدات النقية 2- المبيدات البودرة3- المبيدات المركزة المستحلب 4- المبيدات القابلة للذوبان في مواد اخرى مذيبهبالاضافة الى وسائل الرش مثل الرش الدخانى والرزازى والتعفيري والضبابى البارد والحرارىالاول لتفوقها في مجال رش المبيدات تعد افضل شركة رش مبيدات شمال بالرياض وافضل شركة رش مبيدات بجدة وافضل شركة رش مبيدات بالمدينة المنورة وشركة رش مبيدات بالاحساء وشركة رش مبيدات بالخبر و شركة رش مبيدات بالخرجو شركة رش مبيدات بابها و شركة رش مبيدات بالقصيم و شركة رش مبيدات بينبعوافضل شركة رش مبيدات بالجبيل افضل شركة رش مبيدات بالقصيمشركة رش مبيدات بالقطيفشركة رش مبيدات بالطائفشركة رش مبيدات بالدمامافضل شركة رش مبيدات بالخبر

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  4. لاشك ان شركه الحورس تعد افضل شركه خدمات منزليه التي منها (التنظيف/رش مبيدات/مكافحه حشرات/تسليك مجاري/كشف تسربات المياه/تنظيف خزانات..)وعديد من الخدمات التي تلزم البيت او الفله نحن بخدمتك عزيزي العميل. شركه نقل اثاث وعفش بالطائف افضل شركه تنظيف بالطائف شركه مكافحة حشرات بالطائف شركه كشف تسربات المياه بالطائفحيث شركتنا تتميز باداء الخدمه علي افضل وجهه حيث نعد شركه رش مبيدات بالطائفشركه تنظيف خزانات بالطائف

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