I saw a meme today, saying something to the effect of “Don’t let others see you struggle. Just get through it and be an inspiration when you succeed.” For the life of me, I can’t find it again so you’ll have to take my word for it.
A few people commented with enthusiastic agreement. I don’t know if everyone did that because I didn’t read any further but every fiber of me said that this is terrible advice. IT doesn’t exactly improve your mental health.
We live in a society of increased awareness or the efforts of it, anyway. More and more people are becoming more and more aware that we are not that different (and if you’re not, then you should be!). The idea of going backwards and being encouraged to hold it all in is an awful idea.
True, it’s important not to wallow and it’s hard for anyone to bear the weight of another’s problems but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. Sometimes a person can’t look at the bright side until they know that they aren’t alone in the dark. And sometimes, a person can’t look at the bright side at all but it might be a little less dark if someone is there with you.
Ok, now that I officially sound like a meme generator, I’ll move on. The point is that instead of hiding our struggles and trying to be an inspiration later; let’s share our struggles and try inspire each other to keep going now.
I can tell you this morning, I played a voicemail from my mom at least three times. I just wanted to hear her voice again and hear her say that she loves me. I sat in bed and wished that I could just go to sleep and then felt guilty that I wasn’t being more productive. I redeemed a free pizza from Domino’s and totally blew my healthy eating for the day because I thought it might make me feel a little better. (It did, actually.)
I feel overwhelmed by anxiety today and just want to scream.
But I will put my shoes on in a few minutes, pick up my kids from school and get through the day.
Tomorrow, I will probably feel better. Or maybe I won’t. But, eventually, I will.
There. I have ruined any illusion anyone might have. I’m a mess. But, I’m a workable mess. And my friend who literally just messaged me with the words “I’m a failure,” is also a mess. And the neighbor, who I have only said hello to a couple of times, is a mess.
We’re all in this messy but sometimes beautifully messy life, together. Don’t pretend we’re not. Don’t pretend at all.
Now, I challenge you to share your struggles with me and anyone else who is reading this!
What are you struggling with? What helps you get through?
3 thoughts on “Hiding Your Pain”
That is definitely terrible advice! That’s like saying, just pretend you are an overnight success and let nobody think you had to try. Yeah, people really respect that….sheesh. Fire that meme maker.
Right?? And the fact that people agreed with it was so upsetting!
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