Racism And My White Privilege

I had kind of a weird thing happen at work a few months ago. In the mornings, a few of us sit in the lobby waiting for the kids who were still arriving (late). One of the moms stayed back to talk. After a few minutes, the conversation turned to how she went to a “black” high school. She blamed integration and clearly didn’t have a high opinion of it. Subtle but not so subtle comments started to come out about how she was treated as the white girl in the school and how the black guys messed with her. It sounded like these kids were jerk-faces but it was because of the scenario and not because they were black. But I didn’t say that. I just sat there. There I sat, a white mom of four black children, trying to decide if I was being overly sensitive or if she indeed was making racist comments.

Was It Racist?

By the look of my co-worker’s face, I could tell that I wasn’t imagining anything. And to my co-worker’s credit, she spoke up and pointed out that her son’s best friend is black and he has been bullied by a white kid. Come on, no race corners the market on bullying.

This mom continued to try to prove her point and I continued to wonder why she thought these things were ok to say. Finally, my co-worker made an excuse for us to go back to class.

How To Handle The Racism?

As we walked down the hallway, we were fuming. Another employee (above me) came up for clarification because she only heard snippets. And to their credit, all of admin was instantly, well, pissed off. They called me in and got the whole story. Apparently, this woman had done inappropriate things in the past like hitting on the male staff and making questionable comments at the Black history month planning meeting. This was the last and most upsetting straw. Not long after, we received an email that this mother was no longer welcome in the building, all communication would be online, and that the student would not be welcomed back next year. Not long after that, we received another email stating that the student no longer attended our school. Undoubtedly, the mother flipped out and it turned into a whole situation.

Did I Deserve To Be Upset?

Throughout the morning, I received comfort and was asked if I was “ok.” One kind coworker even came into my classroom and asked if she could hug me. She said that she was so sorry that happened to me. I really didn’t know how to respond. But regardless, I was very grateful for the hug.

I felt very conflicted about the whole thing. I was touched that the administration was concerned about my feelings. And I was definitely angry on behalf of my children. But…I’m a white lady. I felt like it was a little inappropriate that I had basically appropriated racism. I have a few black coworkers and I couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking. Like somehow my white privilege had spilled over into a reality that I can’t possibly truly understand. Yes, I’m in a position where I’m close to it but still no, I can’t completely get it.

Wrong Is Wrong

But at the end of the day, the truth is that no one should be standing in a lobby of a special needs school, in the morning, making racially insensitive comments. Well, I mean, no one should be standing anywhere at any time making racially insensitive comments. No racial comments, people.

I’m glad that she was called on it. Whether or not I could be considered a victim, wrong is wrong.