Three Years ago, we adopted our sons!

Three years ago, today, on May 9, 2008, our adoption of William and Antwan was finalized.  They came to live with us on February 15th, but, on this day, it was made official and legal!

It was a special, monumental day.  And, at the same time, it was like any other day when you have children: complicated, frustrating, exhausting, amazing, and extremely fulfilling. 

In anticipation of the day, I had carefully planned the boys’ outfits.  Being a former fashion-obsessed club-goer who turned into an it’s only-a-little-wrinkled and basically-matches mom; I was very concerned that they looked nice for the ceremony.  They needed black dress shoes, but money was tight.  (Adding 2 boys to a family will do that to you!), so I scoured the consignment shops until I found shoes in their sizes.  I found William’s shoes right away, Antwan’s, for whatever reason, were harder to find.  But, I did.  Success! 🙂

Because it was so close to Mothers Day, we were going to take part in the Annual Mothers Day finalization “extravaganza.”  Instead of just our family, friends, and a judge (like Lizzie’s, later), it was going to be many, many families all finalizing on the same day.  That turned out to be a really wonderful thing to take part in.

As a perpetually late person, I tried very, very hard to be ready on time.  And I was.  But, I soon was reminded why Brian likes to leave extra early, in case something goes wrong.  Because something went wrong.

On the way, to save time (irony!), we ran through the Burger King drive-thru.  We ordered our food, got trapped in between cars, and learned that the computers were down and everything was being done by hand.  (On a super relevant side-note, our car at the time, was having issues with over-heating if it idled too long.)  So, we sat there in line (at least 20 minutes), unable to get out, and watched the little arrow go up and up.  We eventually got our order, which turned out to be wrong, and headed to the nearest store to buy radiator fluid (or whatever you buy when cars overheat!) and wait for the car to cool down.

With the car over-heated, us at least 30 minutes from the court house, and the ceremony starting in 30 minutes; it wasn’t looking good.  I started frantically making calls.  None of my professional contacts were reachable, but my family was.  Because, you see, my parents left super early and did not stop for lunch.  Eventually, my parents tracked down the judge’s secretary and we were told to keep coming and they’d work us in.  Yay! 

Good news, but we were still stuck in the Food Lion parking lot with an over-heated, but very sporty Mustang.  I don’t remember how long it took to cool down, it seemed like such an eternity, but we finally started driving again, while anxiously watching the temperature gauge.

We finally made it!  The ceremony was only about half-way through.  We found our family, sat down, and tried to decompress.  Decompressing is slightly challenging when you’re in a crowded room and have been freaking out for an hour and a half.  But, really, I was just happy.  I was so happy to be there and so excited to finally, truly, officially, legally, become a mom. 

Nothing else mattered.  Not the car, not the money issues, not the run in my hose, nothing.

Then Brian pointed out that Antwan only had one shoe on.  Ok, that mattered a little.  We looked all over, but didn’t find the shoe until we went back to the car, later.  Oh well, my boy became a Parker, wearing only one shoe.  In hindsight, that seems about right.  🙂

It was a typical day in our life.  Things went wrong, things went right.  It’s not easy, it’s not normal, but always, always worth it.
I don’t have the words for how lucky I feel to have these boys in my life.  My life is the opposite of everything that I expected it to be.  I never thought I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant (What the heck?  My sister had 4 kids!).  And, I definitely never expected to become a “local trans-racial family” (as they called us on the news).  Well, maybe it’s not the complete opposite, though.  I expected to be madly in love with my children.  And, I am.  And, as much as I wish I could’ve skipped the heartache of trying to have a child, I know that it had to be that way.  If we had biological children, I don’t know if we would’ve thought about adopting. And, that was how it was supposed to be.  And, if we hadn’t wanted children so badly, would we appreciate them as much as we do? 
So, we left that day, parents to William and Antwan.  We felt completely fulfilled.  And, we were.  Little did we know that Lizzie was on the way to fulfill us even more and would be with us in 4 short (hectic) months.  That was also a happy, crazy, things-going-wrong, things-going-right, kind-of day, but that’s for another blog.  🙂 
This is a video of us of the finalization. 🙂  (Thanks to Jennice for filming it!)

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